Worst Media Publication (Laziest)

Nominees:

  • High Times – still publishing like it's 1997

  • Leafly – replaced journalism with auto-generated SEO trash

  • Cannabis Now – too high to remember deadlines

Winner: Leafly - for redefining journalism as "Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V from the press release"

Worst Media Publication (Paid for)

Nominees:

  • MG Magazine – if you’ve got money, you’ve got a cover

  • Benzinga Cannabis – why report when you can publish a paid hype piece?

  • Green Entrepreneur – brought to you by whoever sent the biggest check

Winner: MG Magazine – “Because ‘journalistic integrity’ doesn’t pay the booth fees”

Worst Indoor Cultivator

Nominees:

  • Glass House Farms – all that CapEx and still mids

  • Aeriz – photogenic plants, tasteless flower

  • Cookies (any state) – from hype to hay in 30 seconds

Winner: Glass House Farms – scaling boof at industrial levels

Worst Outdoor Cultivator

Nominees:

  • Every sun-grown farm Post-2018

  • “Craft Outdoor” growers charging indoor prices

  • That dude on IG who just discovered aphids

Winner: Nature – for consistently failing to deliver gas

Worst Lobbyist

Nominees:

  • NCIA – always at the table, never getting fed

  • MJBiz Lobbying Group – wait… they lobby?

  • That One Former Cop Turned Consultant™

Winner: NCIA – both the worst and best. Congrats on lobbying for absolutely nothing!

Overall Shittiest Products

Nominees:

  • Tyson 2.0 – Celebrity weed with the flavor profile of a drywall punch

  • GameUp by Rick Ross – Wingstop-branded gummies that taste like corn syrup and sadness

  • Packwoods – Pre-rolls stuffed with disappointment and dipped in something sticky on purpose

Winner: Tyson 2.0 – for being the only thing weaker than Mike’s defense against Evander’s right hook

Woman of the Year

Nominees:

  • Jessica from Brand Partnerships – always invited to panels, never to the executive meeting

  • CEO’s Sister – technically “Head of Culture,” whatever that means

  • The Token Female Founder – listed on the website but not the cap table

Winner: None of them. This industry still tokenizes women for panels, not paychecks. Shame on you.

Man of the Year

Nominees:

  • A Sansone Son, Brother, or Cousin.

  • That overweight Boca Raton “dispensary owner”

  • The “Let’s build together” guy from LinkedIn

Winner: The Only Black Guy Not on the Diversity Panel

Worst Company Overall

Nominees:

  • California: Eaze – where your order goes to die

  • Michigan: Skymint – filed for bankruptcy and kept going

  • New York: The OCM – not a company, but still the worst business

Winner: All of the above – they did it to themselves

Worst Dispensary Chain

Nominees:

  • MedMen – still running? WTF?

  • Planet 13 – $80 eighths and a light show

  • R.Greenleaf – the DMV of dispensaries

Winner: MedMen – for redefining corporate collapse

Worst Delivery Service

Nominees:

  • Eaze – the Uber Eats of disappointment

  • Anyone - using Dutchie’s delivery integration

  • Whatever - startup got funded last week

Winner: Eaze – Can’t deliver. Won’t deliver. Still delivering.

Worst Hardware Brand

Nominees:

  • CCELL - knockoffs from Alibaba

  • G Pen – for hotboxing your oil and your lungs

  • Ooze – the mall kiosk of weed tech

Winner: G Pen – 500 degrees of regret

Worst LinkedIn Personality (Most Annoying)

Nominees:

  • Andrew DeAngelo – every post is a TED Talk no one asked for

  • Kristen Yoder – "The Cannabis Cynic" but somehow always promoting her services

  • That Bro CEO in a Snapback – just posted a selfie with “grateful” and 900 hashtags

Winner: Snapback Bro CEO™

Worst Brand Design

Nominees:

  • Any - brand with a weed leaf in the logo (still)

  • Heavy Metal Packaging™ – for making joints look like lip balm from 2005

  • Tyson 2.0 again – it's a boxing glove... but a weed brand

Winner: Tyson 2.0 (again)

Most Overpriced Boof Flower

Nominees:

  • Cookies – the original scam

  • Doja – pretty bag, ugly weed

  • Jokes Up – nothing funny about $75 eighths

Winner: Jokes Up – for turning jokes into felony-level pricing

Most Overpriced Boof Concentrate

Nominees:

  • Alien Labs – looks like wet sand, hits like dry toast

  • 710 Labs (non-California markets) – same label, worse wax

  • Whatever - “legacy brand” launched with investors

Winner: 710 Labs in Michigan – $100 grams of FOMO

Most Overpriced Boof Edible

Nominees:

  • CLOVR (MO) – gummies with the texture of candle wax

  • Wana (East Coast markets) – charging $30 for sugar cubes

  • Wyld – the La Croix of cannabis

Winner: Wana – for giving you the illusion of choice and the reality of mid

Most Overpriced Boof Vaporizer

Nominees:

  • PAX Era Pods – $65 for 0.5g of hopes and dreams

  • Stiiizy - knockoffs with real Stiiizy prices

  • Dr. Dabber – cool name, mid hits

Winner: PAX Era Pods – boutique pricing for barely-there buzz