NECANN to Host Over 400 Cannabis Brands, 390 of Which Will Be Gone by Next Year
By the Boof du Jour Investigative Team
BOSTON — The Northeast Cannabis Convention (NECANN), best known for stuffing more overpriced weed brands into a convention center than a freshman dorm fridge on move-in day, proudly announced it will be hosting over 400 cannabis brands this year — 390 of which will be bankrupt, absorbed, or in deep litigation by next spring.
The announcement came via a press release titled, “We’re Still Doing This Shit?”, accompanied by a stock photo of a middle-aged man in a hemp blazer high-fiving someone who absolutely just said “bro” in a pitch meeting.
In an exclusive deep-dive investigation, Boof du Jour has confirmed what every dispensary buyer, legacy cultivator, and sentient stoner has long suspected: NECANN is less a showcase of the cannabis industry’s future and more a hospice ward for its soon-to-be-dead brands.
“We’ll Be Huge” — Said Every Brand That Ceased Operations in Q2
A leaked NECANN internal memo, obtained via a disgruntled volunteer who was promised a lanyard and “networking opportunities” instead of pay, reveals the unsettling truth:
“Attendance is up, ROI is down, and nobody has read a P&L in three years. Let them set up their booths, hand out QR codes, and pretend they’ll be here in 2026.”
From “craft brands” run by third cousins with trust funds to MSO zombie subsidiaries designed solely to offload bad product into Massachusetts dispensaries, the NECANN show floor has become a sprawling graveyard of ambition, incompetence, and overfunded delusion.
Attendees can expect to browse booths from companies like:
Kushy Krunch™ — A cereal-themed edible company currently under FDA investigation for packaging that “might cause children to get stoned and develop a lifelong mistrust of adults.”
Solstice & Sage Wellness — A “female-founded” brand with no women in leadership and $2.4M in debt to an investment group named “CannaBro Holdings.”
Väpor8™ — A disposable vape startup that claims to be “carbon-neutral and vegan” but sources carts from a Shenzhen factory that also makes knockoff sex toys.
“I signed up for a booth to ‘build brand awareness,’” said startup CEO Zach Mullins, who launched BLAZR™ Pre-Rolls after cashing out his Dogecoin. “We don’t sell anywhere yet, but our deck says we’re pre-revenue with ‘explosive vertical potential.’ Also, we’re trying to raise $5 million.”
When asked what made BLAZR™ unique, Mullins took a beat and replied, “Honestly? Our logo slaps.”
The Economics of Delusion
NECANN’s business model is simple: charge desperate brands thousands for a 10x10 booth, then let them compete for attention with $7,000 LED displays, CBD dog treat giveaways, and whatever the fuck a terpene bubble dome is.
Booth fees start at $2,500 but can easily exceed $10,000 for premium placement — a steal, considering the exposure to other brands also circling the drain. In a twisted Darwinian ritual, exhibitors try to out-booth one another in a kind of Shark Tank for people who think LinkedIn is a personality.
“They always ask about ROI,” said one NECANN organizer who requested anonymity out of fear of losing their job or dignity. “But really, it’s about optics. If your investor sees your logo on a banner next to a brand that’s only $400K in the hole, that’s a win.”
Meanwhile, the NECANN job fair has become an ironic sideshow where unemployed cannabis executives hand out résumés to companies that won’t exist by Q3.
“We Built a Community” (of Failure)
Organizers claim NECANN is “fostering connection, community, and cannabis culture,” a sentence that has meant absolutely nothing since 2019. What NECANN has actually fostered is a massive circular firing squad of mid-tier brands, all desperately trying to convince one another they aren’t fucked.
“Last year I met a guy who said he was a master grower,” said attendee Mel Rodriguez, a budtender from Providence. “I asked what strain he bred, and he said, ‘Mostly content.’”
In a now-deleted post, one NECANN keynote speaker admitted, “I used to speak on scaling your brand. This year, my topic is how to write off a 7-figure failure and still get invited to panels.”
Next Year’s Lineup: Mostly Obituaries
Of the 400+ brands attending NECANN 2025, Boof du Jour projects:
35% will merge with a company even shadier than themselves.
25% will pivot to mushrooms, NFTs, or “conscious consumption retreats.”
20% will file for restructuring but somehow sponsor MJBizCon anyway.
10% will disappear without a trace.
The remaining 10%? Still trying to get paid by Trulieve.
The NECANN organizers remain optimistic, though. “We’re proud to showcase this many brands,” said NECANN CEO Peter Blowstein. “Even if 98% of them are underwater and 3% are literally scams. Our motto remains: If you build a booth, they might believe you're legit.”
Until the lawsuits catch up, at least.
Boof du Jour will be attending NECANN in disguise, mostly to collect branded tote bags and figure out which influencer will cry in the hotel lobby first. Stay tuned for more coverage on the slow, expensive collapse of American weed capitalism.
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