Jeeter’s Latest Blunt Now Features QR Code Linking to Your Future Lung X-Rays
Every cannabis photographer that ever used background remover on Canva…. Photo credit: Wick & Mortars entire portfolio
Company Responds to Lawsuits by Leaning All the Way Into Its Cough-to-Get-Off™ Branding
LOS ANGELES, CA – In a bold and deeply concerning move, Jeeter has unveiled its latest innovation: a QR code on every blunt that links directly to the lung X-rays of future customers.
The decision comes as the embattled brand faces mounting lawsuits and allegations of pesticide contamination, with some consumers claiming their Jeeter experience left them with more than just a high—like persistent coughing, chest tightness, and in extreme cases, the lung function of a retired coal miner.
“We’re just getting ahead of the problem,” said one Jeeter executive, lighting a heavily crystallized pre-roll that smelled suspiciously of Raid. “People were already talking about our blunts putting them in the ICU, so why not give them a convenient way to track their progress?”
SCAN, INHALE, AND SEE YOUR FUTURE IN REAL TIME
Each new Jeeter Blunt™ now comes with a personalized QR code, allowing customers to:
✔️ Track their own medical records (provided they can still breathe long enough to type their name)
✔️ View a live feed of a pulmonologist shaking their head in disappointment
✔️ Pre-book a hospital bed for their next “Jeeter Experience”™
✔️ Unlock an exclusive coupon for their next purchase, because “real smokers take risks”
“We wanted to create an interactive smoking experience,” said Jeeter’s VP of Brand Marketing. “We noticed a pattern where people take a hit, collapse into a coughing fit, and immediately Google ‘Jeeter lawsuit real or fake’—so we figured, why not just give them a direct link?”
JEETER RESPONDS TO HEALTH CONCERNS: “BRO, IT’S JUST TERPS”
When asked about the lawsuits alleging high levels of pesticides, fungicides, and other unpronounceable lung irritants, Jeeter issued a formal statement via Instagram story featuring a guy ripping a 2g blunt while shrugging.
“It’s just terps, bro.”
The brand went on to clarify that their signature “cough-to-get-off” effect isn’t a result of questionable additives but instead a feature, not a bug.
“Our fans love the feeling of their lungs working overtime,” said a Jeeter rep, who refused to disclose what strain he was currently coughing up. “That’s how you know it’s gas.”
CUSTOMERS REACT: “I HIT A JEETER AND MET MY ANCESTORS”
Despite growing legal pressure, dedicated Jeeter smokers remain loyal, citing the near-death experience as part of the appeal.
“I took one hit of the new QR blunt and woke up in the ER. 10/10 experience.” – @CoughDaddy710
“Never seen a company give you a medical warning and a discount at the same time. Respect.” – @BluntForceTrauma
“Finally, a product that forces me to confront my own mortality. Love the branding.” – @XxLungCollapse420
Meanwhile, Jeeter’s legal team is reportedly exploring new marketing angles, including:
Jeeter x Life Alert™ Collaboration – "I've fallen and I can't exhale!"
The Jeeter Challenge™ – Post a before-and-after lung scan for a chance to win a free blunt!
JeeterCare™ Health Insurance Plan – Comes free with any purchase of 10g or more!
Boof du Jour is a satire website. All content, including articles, images, and social media posts, is intended for entertainment and comedic purposes only. Any resemblance to real people, events, or situations is purely coincidental.
No Legal or Factual Claims
The content on Boof du Jour is fictional and should not be interpreted as factual reporting, news, or legitimate advice. We are not responsible for any misinterpretation or misuse of our content.
Viewer Discretion Advised
Some material may include humor, parody, or satire that is not suitable for all audiences. If you find satire offensive, we kindly suggest navigating elsewhere.
Intellectual Property & Fair Use
All content on this site is protected under copyright law and may not be reproduced without permission. Any third-party names, trademarks, or references are used under fair use for satirical purposes and do not imply endorsement or affiliation.
Limitation of Liability
Boof du Jour, its owners, contributors, and affiliates assume no liability for any actions taken in response to our content. This site is strictly for entertainment, and no statements should be considered as professional, legal, or factual advice.
By using this website, you acknowledge and agree to this disclaimer. If you do not agree, please discontinue use of the site.
📩 For inquiries or complaints, contact: boofdujour@wedontgiveafuck.com