BREAKING: Adam Bierman Launches 'Weed Empire: The Game Show' – Where Social Equity Applicants Battle to the Death for a Dispensary License He Doesn’t Even Own

Fuck this guy. Photo credit: Allen Iverson

A Game Show No One Asked For, But Everyone Can’t Look Away From

Bierman, whose legacy includes running MedMen into the ground while convincing investors it was the Apple Store of weed, claims this is his redemption arc.

“Look, social equity applicants need a fair shot,” Bierman told reporters while standing in front of a building he definitely does not own. “And what’s more fair than a Squid Game-style death match where contestants navigate investor fraud, regulatory nightmares, and gangsters just like I did?”

The show, which is already trending worldwide for all the wrong reasons, will feature 10 desperate cannabis entrepreneurs fighting through hellish challenges inspired by Bierman’s real-life failures, including:

Gangster’s Alley – Contestants must negotiate their way through a gauntlet of ex-MedMen security guards and shady investors demanding immediate repayment for unpaid debts. One wrong move? “Accident” in the parking lot.

Regulatory Roadblocks – Each contestant must complete a dispensary application while dodging corrupt bureaucrats, missing paperwork, and inexplicable delays that cost $10,000 per second. If they run out of money, they are immediately eliminated.

Investor Showdowns – Contestants pitch their dispensary to venture capitalists who have no idea how weed works but love burning millions of dollars on bad decisions. One misstep, and you’re getting replaced by a guy in a Patagonia vest named Chad.

Wait… Does Bierman Even Own This Dispensary License?

No. Not even close. The actual owners of the dispensary have repeatedly stated that Bierman has absolutely no authority to run a game show giving it away.

“We don’t know how he got in here,” said one confused owner as Bierman confidently handed out golden tickets to contestants. “He just showed up, announced the show, and now there’s a live audience cheering for him?”

Meanwhile, contestants remain completely unfazed by the legal reality and are fully captivated by Bierman’s ability to command attention despite no one asking for it.

Death Is Inevitable, But So Is the Future of Cannabis TV

In a final challenge, the remaining contestants must walk across a glass bridge made of financial projections MedMen gave investors in 2018. The problem? It’s all fake, and half of them will fall to their deaths.

The last person standing gets a dispensary license that may or may not actually be legally viable.

“Winning this show is just the beginning,” Bierman said, refusing to elaborate further.

What’s Next?

Following ‘Weed Empire: The Game Show,’ Bierman has already announced plans for his next reality TV venture:

“Canna Shark Tank” – Where Social Equity Applicants Fight For Scraps of an Industry Controlled by Hedge Funds.”

For now, contestants in ‘Weed Empire’ remain focused on the only thing that matters: surviving.

Stay tuned.

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