Cookies Releases New $200.00 Hoodie That Comes With One Free 1/8th of Cookies Mid’s.
In a bold new branding move, Cookies has unveiled its latest premium offering—a $200 limited-edition hoodie that comes with an eighth of mids, a sense of deep regret, and a personal, autographed letter from Berner himself that simply says ‘F*ck You.’
The hoodie, made from 100% organic disappointment, features a big, colorful Cookies logo so that everyone who sees you wearing it immediately knows you overpaid.
“Our customers demand premium quality,” said a Cookies spokesperson, carefully avoiding eye contact with the eighth of dry, brown weed sitting on the table. “That’s why we’ve included only the finest, hand-selected bottom-shelf flower with every hoodie purchase.”
WHAT COMES IN THE LIMITED-EDITION $200 COOKIES HOODIE BUNDLE?
For a staggering $200, lucky fans will receive:
One Cookies hoodie, pre-washed in the tears of legacy growers
An eighth of ‘exclusive’ Cookies flower, guaranteed to be Gelato under a different name
A handwritten ‘Fuck You’ from Berner himself, included in every box to remind you that this was your decision.
“We wanted to make sure this drop really spoke to the Cookies fanbase,” said a brand executive, carefully stuffing nugs of last year’s harvest into a mylar bag labeled ‘Limited Release.’
WHY THE HOODIE COSTS $200—AND WHY YOU’LL STILL BUY IT
When asked why the hoodie is priced at $200 instead of a reasonable amount, the Cookies rep responded:
“Because fuck you, that’s why.”
Despite the backlash, Cookies expects the drop to sell out immediately, because:
There’s always a line of hypebeasts willing to buy whatever Berner tells them to
Someone is always ready to spend $200 just to flex on Instagram
Weed consumers will literally argue in comment sections about how ‘it’s worth it’
WHAT FANS ARE SAYING
Cookies customers are already hyping up the release, with early buyers rushing to justify the purchase.
“The hoodie is 🔥🔥🔥 bro, y’all just broke bitches.”
“I don’t even care if the weed is mids, it’s exclusive mids.”
“The handwritten ‘Fuck You’ makes it personal, I feel like Berner really knows me.”
One Cookies superfan, who asked to remain anonymous to protect his financial dignity, defended the brand, saying:
“Yeah, the weed is dry, but you gotta understand—it’s about the lifestyle.”
WHAT’S NEXT?
Following the success of the $200 hoodie, Cookies has already announced more overpriced fashion drops, including:
A $500 Cookies varsity jacket that comes with a half-ounce of fan leaves
A $150 snapback that includes a pre-roll guaranteed to canoe
A limited-edition “CEO” gold chain for $10,000 that comes with an exclusive opportunity to still never get a dispensary license
Meanwhile, industry experts predict that other cannabis brands will follow suit, with upcoming releases such as:
GTI’s $400 windbreaker that comes with two expired gummies
Trulieve’s new “Union-Proof” work uniform, pre-ripped from excessive labor
A limited-run Curaleaf fanny pack that includes a handwritten list of all their unpaid vendors
With the Cookies drop expected to sell out in minutes, Berner himself has issued a final statement to fans who refuse to buy the hoodie:
“It’s all good. We’ll just jack up the price and sell it to someone dumber next time.”
Boof du Jour is a satire website. All content, including articles, images, and social media posts, is intended for entertainment and comedic purposes only. Any resemblance to real people, events, or situations is purely coincidental.
No Legal or Factual Claims
The content on Boof du Jour is fictional and should not be interpreted as factual reporting, news, or legitimate advice. We are not responsible for any misinterpretation or misuse of our content.
Viewer Discretion Advised
Some material may include humor, parody, or satire that is not suitable for all audiences. If you find satire offensive, we kindly suggest navigating elsewhere.
Intellectual Property & Fair Use
All content on this site is protected under copyright law and may not be reproduced without permission. Any third-party names, trademarks, or references are used under fair use for satirical purposes and do not imply endorsement or affiliation.
Limitation of Liability
Boof du Jour, its owners, contributors, and affiliates assume no liability for any actions taken in response to our content. This site is strictly for entertainment, and no statements should be considered as professional, legal, or factual advice.
By using this website, you acknowledge and agree to this disclaimer. If you do not agree, please discontinue use of the site.
📩 For inquiries or complaints, contact: boofdujour@wedontgiveafuck.com